My cousin is a couple weeks older than my baby brother…who happens to tower over me, but yes I can remember holding the blue bundle of joy when he came home from the hospital…so I have the right to call him ‘baby’!

So my cousin is going on 24, and his facebook status says “One Month! ” So his younger sister says ‘until what’, and he replies with ‘Lindsay you had better be joking’

She then replies with ‘hahahaha I didn’t know you got this excited for your birthday. Friggin sue me.’ I just had to LOL! All I can think about is this grown-up version of the little cousin I remember getting giddy over his coming birthday…which isn’t even a ‘milestone birthday’! And then the interaction between brother and sister…priceless. Thanks for laughs Evan and Linsday.

The end of the olympics was a great piece of Canadian history. Crosby’s goal was quite possibly the most memorable of all time and probably for years to come. While the rest of Canada is still coming down off this patriotic high, my family had to cut it short. We lost a young man to acute leukemia on tuesday, but the celebration was over the same day as he was rushed to hospital on Sunday. He had no prior knowledge of his illness and slipped into a coma that day. He was put on life support, they pulled the plug and was gone.

He was healthy in October when the mortgage company wanted blood work to insure the young couple. This illness takes it’s victims in weeks without treatment. That doesn’t leave much time to really discover the disease does it? We’re all just reeling from the shock.

He wasn’t someone I knew very well, he was actually the fiancé of my brother-in-law’s cousin, I believe we met once. My 4 year old nephew took it hard, as Kyle(rip) used to spend time with him. I’m so saddened by the fact that my little nephew already ‘gets it’.

What breaks my heart even more, is the poor girl who has to pick up the pieces and cancel all the arrangements for their wedding that was meant for June. And most of all, my heart breaks for the baby he leaves behind. My second son and this baby are only weeks apart, I just can’t imagine the fear this man felt when he was given his diagnosis. The pain of not being able see his son grow up. Not being there to protect him…these are things that scare me when I think of my own mortality-that there won’t be enough time.

I’m just still so shocked at how fast things can be taken away. Last week this man was thinking he was fighting off a flu and this week he is gone- from an illness he never knew he had! It happened so fast that it’s like the shock of a fatal car accident, but with the knowledge that if it had been found sooner, there might have been hope!

My own father died at the age of 41 from non-hodgkins lymphoma, and that seemed so young. This man was only 25, it makes it hard to believe in a grand ‘plan’. My father has 3 years to come to terms with his illness. Time to make ammends and say his good-byes, but really, it’s never enough time. My father withered away to just a shadow of his former self. I don’t know which is better…quick or dragged out? Neither would be best, but of course we all have our end, you just always hope you’ll die of old age. (and secretly wish you’ll be the first one to become immortal)

His funeral is Saturday, and even though life goes on, things will never be the same for his family.

My heart goes out to Jacalyn-his fiancé and Jack-his baby boy. I cannot imagine what you must be going through! Turn to the ones you love for strength, and make the most of everyday.

Love Kerri

My son has had major tooth decay in his baby teeth, so because he’s under 3 they recommend using anesthesia for fixing it all at once. It was not from a bottle, because he was breastfed, but his 4 front teeth had to come out as well as some molars needing root canals and caps. Eeek! I know.

Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto is THE best place to go if your child needs surgery. I was very concerned about payment because Dental is not covered even though the anesthetic was. Treatment of this magnitude would cost upwards of $2000! The night before surgery, I talked to my aunt about it, who is a dental assistant, and she told me to have them not do anything that wasn’t NEEDED, like cleanings etc. I ended up getting my mom to agree to lend me money in case I couldn’t cover it all…but who really wants to do that.

There is a program in Ontario called “Children In Need of Treatment” for kids under 18. I thought we were too late and too far into the process to qualify for this, but it is really an amazing program. It isn’t for general maintenance, it is for kids who are in need of treatment like cavities and extractions etc. Every time there is a need, you need to re-assess, but there are a few clinics that perform the work through the Region of York-specifically to my case.

I took my son to the hospital alone, and left my younger son with my mom for the day. We arrived in 6B, the pre-anesthesia clinic where they take vitals, get them into hospital gowns and ask health related questions. Everyone goes here first, no matter what type of surgery is being performed. Our surgery was booked for 2pm, but we had to arrive 2 hours prior. What a LONG time for a toddler to not eat or drink anything! I avoided eating also, so that I would feel his pain and not rub it in his face. We waited there before being taken with another family down to the 2nd floor pre-surgery waiting room. Which is, btw, way cooler than the first waiting room. It has 4 video game systems, and a floor full of infant-toddler toys and a bookshelf full of books. The nurses also hand out stickers to all the kids.

The 2nd floor waiting room is where you talk to the anesthesiologist about what pain meds they may or may not administer, as well as possible intubation, and the side effects of each. The Doctor performing the surgery will also come and speak to you about the procedure and confirm the consent form is signed and understood. Dr. Judd, was the dentist who was performing my son’s surgery. He had a warmth about him, and was very easy to approach about our financial problems. I asked him if there were some procedures he could leave out because of our financial situation and he advised me that all of the procedures were necessary. He went on to say that he would waive his fee on the cleanings etc. so that I wouldn’t stress over cost. He then remembered the ‘CINOT’ program and said he would make a call to his accounting department to get them to look into a rush assessment.

So he returned and told me that once my son was in the OR, I was to go see Cheryl about the program. I told him I appreciated his help and concern. He assured me not to worry about fees and left. Our anesthesiologist finally arrived and spoke to us, well mostly me, as my son was immersed in his DS, about all that stuff. Her nurse came over to ask whether there would be separation anxiety or not. I said it would most likely be due to his DS being taken away, so she said he could take it with him. She then asked him if he wanted a ride in a car or a wagon. He picked a wagon and said he was cold, so she got him a wagon, and couple blankets and off he went with a quick kiss from me. He didn’t even look back as she took him down the hall.

I was then taken to the parents waiting room where you have to check in with the Women’s Auxilliary and check out if you go for food. I had to check in and then right back out so that I could go to the dental accounting department, so I wasn’t there long. When I got in to see Cheryl, she had a big smile on her face and said, I was covered! She explained that they normally don’t accept things this way, but if you get a good person on the phone anything is possible. She also had to give our info while I was still upstairs, but assured me that the Privacy Act was in place, as always. She also told me that if I had not been accepted to the program, that Dr. Judd was going to waive his entire fee! Amazing! What great news.

I happily went on my way to get some food from the cafeteria, which is awesome btw. It’s in the atrium, and they have all kinds of food to choose from. I also grabbed a little something from the gift shop for my son and hurried back to the waiting room for 3pm. I noticed that there was a large LCD flat-screen TV with patients’ initials and their statuses. My son’s was ‘Ja. R’ – ‘In OR’. About 10 minutes later I looked up from my ipod to see a man I think is Dr. Judd, and I glance over to see ‘in recovery’ beside my son’s name. Dr. Judd does a double take and realizes he looked right at me and didn’t see me at first. He takes me into a separate room to discuss how the procedure went and praised me for my ‘brushing’ technique. Apparently I scrub them really good-even though my son hates it! He said that only 2 root canals were needed instead of 4 and that he stitched the sockets where the 4 front teeth were extracted to make healing easier on me. He said not to used sippy cups anymore, that straws are better for not pooling liquids in the mouth when swallowing isn’t happening, and told me if I keep up the brushing and weed out the sippy cups, my son shouldn’t have anymore cavities in his baby teeth. I told him of the CINOT covering the treatment and he was pleased and I thanked him again, and he re-assured me that he would’ve waived his fee. What a great dentist! You don’t hear of that too often.

Now I still had to wait for the screen to say ’see a volunteer’ before I could go see my son. So about 10 minutes after talking to the dr. about post op info etc. I was taken to recovery to see him. He was lying on his side with his Ikea kitty beside his face and looking all groggy…and cute. The nurse assigned to him was young and pretty and was smitten with him. She kept telling me what a good boy he was! My son? Obviously a side effect of anesthesia. He sucked back a freezie, learning very quickly to adapt to having no front teeth. He also seemed very annoyed with the frog in his throat which was cute and he hated having the IV pad still attached to him. After gulping an apple juice, he was detached from all the stuff, but was still wanting to snuggle in his blankets. We left around 4pm and were caught in rush hour…bleh, but he had a long nap on the way, and we stopped at the store to get him a new case for his DS because it was broken (a super awesome Nerf case btw), and a new game for the Wii. He sucked back a juice box, and was a mommy suck for the rest of the night, he was so calm and lovey, I knew it was only a side effect of the surgery, but I still enjoyed hearing him say ‘love you mommy’ over and over.

He woke up this morning and aside from commenting on how his teeth feel weird, he was back to his rambunctious self again.

Sick Kids Hospital is an Amazing place, and I feel so fortunate to live only 1 hour away!

UPDATE: As of March 14th, and this was originally published Feb. 3rd, this position still hasn’t been filled and they’ve upped the salary by $2000/a! So I guess I was right, and the guy was just being a complete ASS.

I am on maternity leave for another 5 months, but because my DH was laid off, I’m starting to panic about the finances. So I got this bright idea to start job hunting, for him, for me, mostly out of curiosity. I stumbled upon an ad for a ‘Graphic Artist’ at an embroidery company, in the next town. The pay was pretty decent considering the short commute.

Since I’m a photographer/digital artist, I looked into it further. Here is part of the job ad:

Skill Requirements:
Education: Completion of high school, Some college/CEGEP/vocational or technical training, Some university (I have college training in the ‘general’ area)
Credentials (certificates, licences, memberships, courses, etc.): Not applicable
Experience: Experience an asset
Languages: Speak English, Read English, Write English
Area of Design Specialization: General graphic design, Visual art, Corporate identity, Multimedia, Forms
Business Equipment and Computer Applications: IBM, MacIntosh, QuarkXpress, Illustrator, Photoshop, PageMaker, Corel Draw (I have used Illustrator-a little, I’m advanced on Photoshop, and I used Pagemaker in high school. But I have not used Quark Xpress or Corel Draw-all of which I made perfectly clear in the email that contained my resume)
Work Setting: Corporation
Specific Skills: Consult with clients to establish nature and context of designs and illustrations for reproduction, Produce final designs or illustrations (I am totally capable of handling these responsibilities, with maybe a small learning curve, but my advanced computer skills means that I can learn others quite quickly)
Essential Skills: Reading text, Document use, Numeracy, Writing, Oral communication, Working with others, Job task planning and organizing, Significant use of memory, Finding information, Computer use, Continuous learning (all of these skills I am good at)
Other Information: Redrawing and resizing company logo’s to be printed on promotional products. Obtain and supply quotes. Order taking and order processing various customer service functions. Web Design. (I have actually re-drawn and re-sized logo’s for broadcast…print isn’t a far cry. Then it seems, not only do they want a graphic artist, they want a CSR as well…hmmm)

So I send off my resume, on a whim really, and in it, says that I have certain computer programs as skills, but I didn’t specify on my resume to what degree my expertise lay with each program. So I made sure I was honest in my email, about how much knowledge I have in the programs specified.

I get a response back the next day with an attached job description telling me to look it over and let them know if I was still interested. Here’s what the description said:

“Position:  Graphic Artist, Customer Service & General Office

Tasks include:

• Web Design and maintenance
• Producing Paper Proofs for client approval
• Ordering promotional products and checking for accuracy
• Design and send E-mail Blasts
• Order processing and follow-up
• Assisting corporate clients in our showroom
• Writing and completing sales transactions

Business Hours:

Monday – Friday: 8:00 am – 4:30 pm

Thursday’s:  Must be available to work 8:00 am – 8:00 pm bi-weekly.

Extended holiday hours include working Saturday’s during the months of November and December.

The successful candidate must have excellent written, communication and math skills and be knowledgeable in Microsoft Office.”

So I think this sounds okay, and I could handle this job, seeing as I’m a great multi-tasker and I’m really quick to learn new things. I’ve also been hired for jobs I was less qualified for because someone recognized my keenness for learning. I send a reply saying it sounds good and I would like an interview. A couple hours later, I get a phone call asking me when I can schedule an interview, and we decide on Wednesday afternoon. He said I would fill out an application and then we would have the interview. (period…no mention of any test)

I’m now scrambling to figure out what I’m going to do with my kids if I get hired, and how much child care will be, and how I’ll really be able to leave my 6 month old already. I also have to figure out who’s gonna watch my kids during the interview. I start preparing a list of questions I have for them etc. I then spend the entire day getting my clothes ready, feeling excited about the chance to get into the ‘real world’ again.

So DH says he’ll watch the kids, my friend says she’ll watch them for only $50/day, and we figure out how it all works with the salary in terms of being worth it.

I get there, and it’s a showroom for corporate uniforms/products and gift baskets. The guy takes me over to a table in the showroom to fill out my application, after seeming surprised to see me-I was only 10 minutes early. He says to bring it back to the office when I’m done…so I do, and he makes me wait again, while he goes over my stuff-I’m assuming. Then he fetches me to do a test! A test! He asks me if I know Illustrator, I tell him only a little but that I’m way better at Photoshop, and I use it more. So he brings me to a computer and sits me down with a picture of a man in a uniform with a white background and asks me to remove a piece of background…so I do, then he says, remove the rest. So I do, with great ease. Then he wants to test me in Illustrator by having me turn the text in a logo to black. I manage to fuddle my way through this task, and then he asks me to take the globe graphic being used a ‘letter O’ and remove the lens flare and get rid of the grid lines on the continents. This is where I get stumped. I tried a couple things that didn’t work completely and I turn around and tell him I’m stumped. Now don’t forget I did say in my email, AND tell him walking into this test, that Illustrator was not my forte. Yet, he still seemed annoyed with me and tried to point out in my resume that I listed Illustrator as one of my skills. So I pointed out to him that it was version CS and we’re now on CS4, and he still acted as if I blatantly lied on my resume. (I mean wouldn’t you realize that if the version was 4 revisions old that would indicate the last time I used it?? Hmm? Wouldn’t you?) So I then reminded him that I mentioned in my resume that I only had a ‘little’ experience and that some programs I didn’t even know.

He tells me he’s going to have to cut the interview short! What? I asked him if there was no room for a learning curve and he said no. That 90% of their work needs Illustrator skills at a higher level than what I had…WTF? Am *I* delusional, or was that NOT specified on the job ad or description. He didn’t even give me the courtesy of a full interview just to humour me. Like really? If I had had the right skills you would’ve taken the time to get to know me, but because I didn’t, you can’t be bothered to give me the illusion of having a chance. I mean talk about wasting MY time.

Here’s what I have to say. Good luck to them. For the amount of work they want done, and the level of expertise they want, they aren’t offering enough money to be picky about people. Especially in a sub-urban area. I could very easily caught up to their standards and given them great customer service, but now they’ll never know. I mean, it’s an embroidery shop…what expert Illustrator is gonna work for that low of salary and ALSO do the customer service and office duties they require? Maybe someone desperate. So again, Good Luck.

I’m not upset that I wasn’t qualified, I’m upset that he didn’t show me the courtesy of a full interview for my time. I mean, I did show up on time, dressed appropriately, AND did know SOME stuff…why couldn’t he finish the interview for ‘future reference’? I wonder if after going through all the applicants and realizing he won’t find his ‘perfect fit’ will he call me back? NOTHING like this has ever happened to me before. It’s just so weird.

Needless to say I was pissed. I also had to drive home in a blizzard btw!

Today, was a good day. We slept in, ate cereal, drank coffee and played video games. Well, my son and hubby shoveled the drive-way and tried to make a snow man, but the snow wouldn’t cooperate, so they came in for Hot Chocolate. I actually tried making ‘hot cocoa’ using the recipe from the cocoa powder I have for baking. It was easy, 1 tbsp of cocoa powder, 1 tbsp of sugar, mixed with about 1tbsp of cold milk to dissolve the powder, then fill the mug with hot milk and stir. Easy enough, but it ended up tasting just like the store bought stuff, so unless I can find a good recipe to make rich tasting hot cocoa, I’ll just stick to the ready made kind.

Kyle, my baby boy, is soooo close to crawling. He manages to get up on his hands and knees, and can move each hand independently, but he has yet to figure out the coordination needed to travel forward. He spent a long time in a sit, while playing, which is so amazing. I spend a lot of time just watching him and feeling joy to just have him in my life. I never thought that I would be happy to have 2 boys, but I really am. I still want to have a girl one day, but if it’s not in the cards for me, I’d still be happy to have my boys-even if I end up with 3 or 4 Someone told me today that Kyle has an old-soul, I believe it. He always looks at me like he has a secret, and that he’s wise beyond his years. I know it sounds kooky, but even split-second glances give me the feeling that he’s got it all figured out. He so desperately wants to get going, I just know he’ll be crawling before 6 months, and will probably walk at 9 months like I did. When Riley was a baby, people would say that their babies’ walked at 9 months and I didn’t believe them, but now I can totally see how possible it really is.

Riley is really starting to have a defined sense of self and his place in the world. He’ll be 3 in March, and I’m hoping the potty-training will just zoom by, when I finally get my act in gear. He’s very protective of his brother and his own feelings. I find him getting quite embarrassed when he’s told off by someone other than his parents. Today he woke up telling me it was a new day, how clever! Then I asked him whether he wanted chicken nuggets or a burger for dinner today, and he replied with, “I’m playing my game!” We laughed out loud when he said that. What a precocious little man! I still have the image of him rosy-cheeked, bundled up in his snow suit asking me for hot chocolate in my mind. I never thought that once he started talking, that he would still be as cute as he was when he was a baby. I mean, interesting yes, but I thought once he started to grow up more, that I wouldn’t see him as my baby any more, and the thought of losing that made me grieve for his babyhood. But it is not so, I still see my baby, even through his long-winded explanations of how he beat the bad guys on his video games. Video Games! Ah, I can’t believe how well he can already play the hand-held game system we have. What happened to the boy who couldn’t hold his own spoon?

Anyways, today has really reaffirmed the love and joy I find being a mother. I took today to relax and just enjoy the moments, and I found them to be very meaningful.

Happy New Year.

I was born 45 minutes north of Toronto Ontario Canada to an Irish-Canadian father and a Scottish-born mother, when they were 18 & 19 years old. I have younger sister and brother and out of everyone, I’m the only one with red hair. I haven’t strayed far from my origins and my brother and sister are only blocks away from me.

At my sister's wedding-I'm on the right-Brother in the middle

I grew up with a fiery personality which did get me into trouble sometimes, well, let’s be honest, a LOT. I talked too much, I talked out of turn, and sometimes a little too fast and a little TMI (too much information). I once told my grandfather’s wife that my mom thought her pancakes were rubbery, but I guess, what kid hasn’t? But even as a young adult, I found myself inserting my foot into my mouth on numerous occasions, at least by that point had I realized my faults. I can still hold my own amongst my scottish family who are always competing for the floor, but at least now I try to be more appropriate (most of the time). I still have a fiery personality, but I save it for special occasions now.

I once thought I wanted to be a dentist, but after I spent a day shadowing my own dentist for school, I decided it was too boring for me. Then one day I was watching Much Music and the VJ was interviewing Mark McGrath from the band Sugar Ray (who I had a crush on in High School) and decided I wanted to work in Television so that I could get the opportunity to meet famous people. (which never really happened-well no one that mattered to me-I met Darryl Sittler and some other Hockey players and members of Glass Tiger :S) That’s when I started volunteering for the local cable station. I actually REALLY loved it, all the technical stuff-not so much the on-air stuff. At this point in time, my high school friends seemed to be drifting away from me in a way that wasn’t so nice for me, so the extra-curricular activity really helped me get over that. I ended up meeting one of my good friends Lilli-Anne there (who happened to be the granddaughter of the man my High School was named after and who also happened to still be alive). Through Lilli-Anne I found some new self-esteem that had been lost after my school friends had really dumped on it. I also met a man who was was to take up 4 years of my life, even though I can’t really call him a boyfriend, because we(and I mean he) never defined it that way. It was quite a tumultuous relationship, but exciting nonetheless. Most importantly from this juncture in my life, was that my connections from the cable station, led to a job and the local Youth Centre, where I met my (still) best friend (and fake husband) Cory.

Cory goofing off during a photo-shoot LOL

We met on my first day of work, when he was volunteering. It wasn’t until our first aid training (as he had been hired as a camp counsellor for the township that ran the youth centre) that we really bonded. We were paired up for training, and we just ‘clicked’. From that moment on, we were always together, he even proposed to me with a plastic ring with a lion on it. For the next couple years, Cory and I managed to work together at 4 different places, once he was my boss. Cory is from Halifax, and at the time was living with his aunt Shelly, who has become like a second mother to me. She is so crazy, I love her so much, but she moved away to Montreal. This was okay for Cory because he met Geoff (his now husband) and moved in with him. We didn’t always talk as often when he moved away (except Tuesdays which was Buffy-night) but it was like no time had passed at all when we did. Eventually he and Geoff married (when same-sex marriage was legalized in Ontario) and they now have an adopted son TJ. You can read their blog here.

My tumultuous relationship led me to my common-law partner who treated me better and was therefore more appealing. But we have had our ups and downs, mainly because he battles depression and mild Bi-polar disorder. He is adopted, and only knows that his parents are Latvian. He is a Flash Developer, but has also worked in After Effects. He is absolutely in Love with Apple/Mac products. His adopted parents are very fair-weather parents, whenever things get tough, like if my hubby is going through a down-period, or there is a disagreement, his mother always chooses to disown him instead of working things out, or letting go of her grudges. (She has also done this to my son-her grandson-as a way to punish me :S ) Well we bought a house in 2005, had our first son in 2007, and our second son in 2009. Both boys were born at home with midwives and caught on video -us being multimedia people and all.

I ended up going to school for Television Broadcasting at Seneca College and held some jobs in that field. One TV station in particular though, left a very bad taste in my mouth. The staff were very deceitful, even the management, and I found myself being harassed when I became pregnant. I received late night anonymous text messages implying that my spouse was not the father. They even went as far as sending a paternity testing kit to him. I did call the police knowing they probably couldn’t prove it, but I was hoping it would at least scare those people into growing up. Needless to say, that experience turned me away from going back to work after my maternity leave and I opted to say home and work part-time for a fitness club, where I could bring my son with me.

Meanwhile, Cory and I decided to start a photography business ‘Juicee Bee Productions’ together. My spouse and I had accumulated some professional equipment with the idea that we would use to start a business, but when his depression set in, that was put on hold. So, me with my camera and Cory with his, we thought “why not make some money on the side?” We have done 2 weddings so far, one for free (for my brother in law’s sister) and one discounted (for our first ‘customer’) and I feel that we have done a pretty good job. The hope is that we will get busy enough that I can buy a newer body for my camera, and maybe a light kit/backdrop, but we really do like keeping it simple and natural. We would also love to be able to travel to some destination weddings, what could be better than that? -Getting paid to go on a ‘vacation’.

Homebirth of my first son-My mom supporting me

On top of all that, while I was pregnant with my second child (not finding out the sex until he was born) I decided, that I wanted to go back to school to become a midwife myself. So to start the process, I started training to become a post-partum Doula and Childbirth Educator. I’m still working on that, but I also started working on the pre-requisite high school courses that I don’t have, but need to get into the Ryerson Midwifery Eductation program. My first course is 12U english and my first unit marks were 97%! I can’t believe it, I wish I had been that committed in high school the first time around.

Well that’s where I stand right now. I won’t be applying to Ryerson until the 2011 year, so in the meantime, I’ll get my pre-requisites, finish my Doula/CBE course and hopefully teach some classes, make some money doing it. And hopefully get some wedding business this summer for my photo company. Also, fingers crossed that my hubby’s freelance business flourishes as has just been laid off from his full time job in the city.

Phew, that was was long. Thanks for reading.

I downloaded the wordpress app and I’m using it to write this post! Pretty cool!

So this is my first entry into my new blog. I’m not exactly sure of all the workings behind it yet, but I’ll get there. I decided to use my own website to create my blog as opposed to using a free “blogspot” or something similar as I didn’t want to have to sign up for a new email account. And since the website was just sitting there, I thought I’d put it to good use.

I don’t have a clear plan as to what this blog is for, but I just want to have an outlet for myself, so that when I do figure it out, I’ll have it ready and waiting.